Twelve Hours Without TikTok

I like to think I haven’t fallen into the trap of social media addiction. Honestly, it would upset me to believe I’ve sunk to that point, especially after years of studiously avoiding the cerebral fog of endless doom scrolling.

          That’s not to say I’ve been totally out of the loop—I’ve had Facebook for years. Occasionally, some big event comes up, and I’ll write a post. It’s rare, but it happens. 

          For example, when my oldest son graduated from high school, I ordered a celebratory cake. Clearly, the grocery store bakery lacked quality control. The cake was supposed to read, “Congratulations Class of 2014.”  Instead, the little plastic mortar board decoration covered the “C” and “L” in the word “Class,” so it read “Congratulations ass of 2014.” I thought it was hilarious, so obviously I posted a picture.

          Immediately, the Likes and Comments poured in. At first, it was fun. Then I started checking every hour. Then every thirty minutes. Eventually, I was practically glued to my iPhone, waiting for more accolades. As the Likes piled up, I felt a sense of euphoria. But when the rush faded, I obsessed over who hadn’t reacted. It also crossed my mind that maybe my family and friends had seen it but didn’t think it was funny.

          Why, I wondered, didn’t they “Like” my post?

          Over the years, I’ve reflected on the time I’ve wasted. There are movies I wish I hadn’t seen and books I only read to the end because I generally feel if you start something you should finish it, even if it bores you to death. Sitting atop that unfortunate list is the time I spent on Facebook actually caring about how a post was doing in the popularity department.

          The same thing happened when I started on Instagram, only this time I was more interested in the number of Followers. I tracked my Follow tally more closely than my 401K.

          I managed to resist TikTok the longest, for two reasons.  First, I thought it was for kids, not middle-aged women like me.  More importantly, I disliked the idea of being followed by anyone other than my beloved fans. Of course, I know my iPhone already monitors everything I do, say, or think. If I misspell a word on Google while searching for something (like “hospital” when I meant to type “hospitality”) or looking something up out of pure curiosity (e.g., “best beaches in the Caribbean”), I’ll likely spend the following week inundated with information about hospital locations and current infectious disease outbreaks in Nassau.

          I really don’t like it, so much so that I will inconvenience myself to avoid the feeling of being monitored. This is how Alexa was exiled to a closet near the attic. While I thoroughly loved the convenience of her cooking timer, weather reports, or belting out “Grandma Got Run Over by A Reindeer” on command, she lost her honored place on my kitchen counter when she eavesdropped on a conversation where I mentioned feeling a little sad because it was so cloudy outside, then butted in and gave me the number for the Suicide Prevention Hotline.

          So, I stayed away for a long time, until my social media manager informed me that having a TikTok account was imperative, and that I was being followed by everyone all the time anyway, so I might as well embrace it. This was an important turning point for me. I accepted both reality and my justified paranoia.

          Now, my TikTok is thriving. I post funny videos. People laugh and comment. I watch other people’s videos. I laugh and comment. For hours. And days.

          That’s about all I do lately.

          So, when TikTok went down for twelve hours, and my palms started sweating after exhausting everything on Facebook and Instagram, I faced a cold, hard truth.

          I’m becoming a victim of the very addiction I’ve preached against.

          Thankfully, this realization has made me keenly aware that I need to limit my screen time—the same way I told my kids to.

          Those twelve hours away from TikTok were the first step (I hope) toward reclaiming a meaningful life where Likes and Follows are achieved outside a screen.

          (That said, please Follow and Like me on all the platforms @insidethemomsclub. My social media manager thanks you.)